Fetish

Many, many girls have a thing for shoes. Many have a thing for clothes, or jewelry, or makeup. I have a small measure of all of these, of course. However there is one thing out there I can barely, just barely resist, and that one thing is a good journal. I ADORE a good journal. I'm very particular, of course--a good journal mustn't have "journal" written anywhere on the cover, or any other word/phrase for that matter. That's just silly. It must fall open flat and lie very still; no flapping pages, no stiff binding. It should be simple and classy, made of leather or fabric, classic patterns and colors. It must have a good, inspiring smell. There must be lines, and no pictures.

I stared at such a journal today for oh--five, ten minutes. It opened just right, it laid still, it was classy, it smelled just right--I wanted it so much. I can't even explain it, this feeling I get. It's this drive, this desire for inspiration. When I see a blank page I fervently long to fill it. I want to cover each page with thoughtful musings, with insightful sketches, with fascinating observations of my everyday life. It's as if I'm filled with all sorts of amazing, intuitive, creative tid-bits and blank pages are my medium for making them real and tangible to the world. I just love that feeling. Journals are my muse.

I've never finished a journal, though. I have, oh...six, or seven, and they all lie together half-filled with all things Kristen and related. I'm not very loyal to my journals, you see. I fall in love with new journals all the time, in fact! I'm a journal-adulteress! No, no...perhaps it's not so harsh as that, but I do find myself feeling guilty sometimes. I blame it on my short attention span. Each passing minute it's a new thought and a new want...Perhaps someday I will find the perfect one, the one that sends me into a creative, inspired flurry of writing that lasts until the final page, the final line. Someday I will find such a journal, but until then it's all about the chase.